Saturday I will be 35 weeks. For those who don’t know or remember I had the twins at 34 weeks exactly, so passing that milestone has been a big accomplishment.
For the most part this pregnancy has FLOWN by…until the day I turned 34 weeks. We’ve had lots of activities going on and keeping up with 2 toddlers generally keeps me pretty busy, but the activities seemed to have slowed and coincided with that 34 week date. I also think I have started feeling contractions this week. Every night my belly feels like it stays rock hard, like one continuous braxton hicks with a few real contractions mixed in.
Knowing that this is when my water broke last time just puts me on edge, like it could be any day now (even though that is most likely not true) and I find myself over analyzing EVERYTHING. It feels weird to not have made even one trip to l&d and every time I feel a cramp, or get a moderately elevated BP reading, or see something weird in the mirror I am wondering, “should I go in? No that’s crazy. They’re going to think I’m stupid.”
And I feel stupid! I don’t want to be one of “those” people, but honestly – its terrifying! I am definitely feeling uncomfortable and grouchy, but I am SO SO thankful to not be having the kidney issues I had last time. Adding to my impatience is the fact that this baby has been measuring much larger than the boys did, and if ultrasounds are correct is likely over 6 pounds already…to me THAT is a big baby! And I can feel it. I have gained more than I did with the twins, have gotten stretch marks and keep getting new ones whereas last time I didn’t, and by photos I look just as big or bigger (though my fundal height is on track instead of 6-8 weeks ahead). I have to be a lot more active this time too. I am carrying both boys into school plus the diaper bag and lunch box, in the floor changing diapers…its just not comfortable and when I’m not by myself I have Mr. R help, but during the day I often don’t have a choice.
I feel guilty about being antsy. I know its a normal last month of pregnancy thing, but mine were in the NICU so abnormally long I thought I would be much more tenacious about getting to 39 weeks. I definitely want to avoid NICU time, and I want him to get all the antibodies he can get from me with winter germs going around and such…but if that meant 38 weeks maaaayyyyybe it wouldn’t be so bad? I dunno? :/
I think I just need him to drop or something. Get more comfortable.
Otherwise I am glad to have made it this far. And I am really looking forward to the prospect of ACTUALLY having the baby in the room with me during our recovery. That sounds amazing :) I am SO excited to see this little guy.